


Hello

by musactr56



Category: Big Bang (Band), Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5068390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musactr56/pseuds/musactr56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of a forced decision</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello

_"You will end it there is no option."_

 

_"You have worked too hard to just throw everything away for him."_

 

_"Think of your brothers, they too have worked too hard for you to just take it away from them."_

 

 

_Knowing that that would be the piece to get through to the younger man, he knew he had him right where he needed him. Private lives are indeed private but they could not handle such a scandal if this was to come to light, they would never recover._

 

**_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ **

 

_"There is nothing left to discuss, I've come to my decision you'll just have to live with it and make it through on your own."_

 

_After saying his peace he turns and walks away, away from the love of his life. Stealing himself from the cries and the anguished sobs behind him he continued walking towards his new life, one where there will be no love to greet him or big smiles to look forward to. At least his brothers won't suffer from his transgressions, at least they will be happier knowing that this won't ruin everything they've accomplished and wish to accomplish in the future._

 

_He had to make a choice and while it might not of been the right one, at least less people will be affected negatively from this one and he's sure the other man will make it through and come out the other end stronger than before._

 

_As for himself well that doesn't matter he's made his choice now he will have to live with it for the rest of his life._

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Daesung, you have to eat something." 

 

"You can't just fall apart you need to be strong. Keep fighting." 

 

"Forget about that asshole you're much better off without him." 

 

"Come on Hyung you can do so much better anyway, you'll see." 

 

Daesung knew his brothers, his band mates, were just trying to be there for him and help him through the pain of heartbreak. Not even heart ache, Daesung isn't even sure he has a heart left after what happened. How Siwon just come to him out of nowhere and left him telling him he was over it and no never contact him again. That is was fun but they needed to be realistic about things and that this relationship does not fit into the image Siwon has for his life. Basically it was nice to fuck around for a while but we're done now so see ya later. 

 

It wasn't fair why was Daesung falling apart? Siwon sure as hell wasn't he was living it up posting pictures left and right about the amazing times he's having without him and enjoying the single life. Lord knows that he wasn't laying in bed not being able to get up let alone participate in the real world like Daesung was. 

 

"Daesung?" Youngbae had been particularly adamant about getting Daesung out of bed and back into the swing of things. "I made some reservations at that outdoor grilling place you love. Just the two of us no need to get worked up about being in a group or getting noticed or anything, what do you say?" 

 

Youngbae picked this particular place because he knows that no matter how much Daesung loves this place him and Siwon never went there, mostly because it was private enough for Siwon. Youngbae figured it was best to get away from the memories of his ex boyfriend. 

 

Daesung took his time in answering knowing that if he said no his Hyung would drop it and let him be, and maybe that's why he decided on his next move. "Sure Hyung it would be nice to have a change of scenery. Lets go." 

 

The smile on Youngbae's face almost made it worth getting out of bed and into the shower on the insistence that he smelt of depression and stale rice crackers. 

 

Maybe just maybe this will start the path to healing that Daesung desperately needs to go down, and all the better if Youngbae is there to hold his hand on the pathway. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_**Three years later.**  _

 

"Oh snap out of it already! I'm getting sick of watching you mope around!" 

 

"Hyung it's been three years maybe it's time to move on." 

 

"I know what management did to you wasn't fair but it's time to face your mistakes and move on." 

 

"Just remember you decided to do this yourself. You never asked us for help or anything you did this to yourself."

 

And that right there is the worse part about everything isn't it? It's all his fault. He could of fought the higher ups he could of went behind their backs, he could of went to his brothers for advice and guidance instead of heading straight to Daesung to tell him that nothing they had mattered and that he was over it. Leaving the love of his life behind as well as his heart and spirit. Siwon has not been the same since that fateful evening and doubts he ever will be. 

 

"Why don't you try calling him? Maybe at least you can tell him what happened and explain yourself. He loved you too Hyung, and honestly he deserves to know the truth, If anything at least you can get some closure and move on." Ryeowook tried to get the older man to at least pick up his phone, the next step would be for him to make, and he'll have to make it on his own. 

 

"They say that time's suppose to heal, but you haven't done much healing."

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Thank you again Youngbae for being there for me through the last couple of years." Daesung could honestly say he wouldn't know where he would be without his Hyung and his help and kindness through his break up with Siwon. Of course the thought of the man still brings a sting to his eyes and heart but at least it wasn't the crushing pain that it once was. Daesung knows that he owes all his progress to his patient and kind Hyung. It took him a long time to get to the other side of the pain he was living in but he made it and honestly he looks forward to the future now and what will come from it. 

 

"No need to thank me Daesung. it's no secret that I would move the stars just to see you smile a little bit. I just want you to be happy" The responding blush over his  dongsaeng's cheeks is reason enough to continue on making Daesung happy and maybe at one point he can truly be the reason for that happiness. 

 

Daesung reaches over and take a hold of Youngbae's hand. "I'm not quite there yet Hyung but I'm getting better I promise you." 

 

Youngbae accepted the answer, what else could he do but be there for him until he was completely healed. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Hello it's me." 

 

Siwon has tried over and over again to get a hold of Daesung. Ever since Ryeowook told him to contact the man Siwon had made it his mission to do just that. He can't count how many times he's called the other male. Calling over and over again for what felt like years, though the real time of months isn't any less pathetic. Finally Daesung picked up the phone after all this time, Siwon hopes he can talk to him about what happened. 

 

"Siwon...what do you want?" Daesung sounded so exasperated and resigned. Siwon didn't care how he was as long as he got to talk to him and plead his case about what happened. 

 

"Can we meet up? I really want to talk about what happened and everything. I want to explain myself...please?"

 

"i'm sorry but I'm already on the way to the airport to catch a flight to Japan, I'll be gone for a while." 

 

Siwon didn't know what to do on the one hand this seemed like a conversation that should be done in person bur who knows when he'll get in contact again with the man. 

 

"I never stopped loving you." Direct seemed the best approach. Judging by the sharp intake of breath that was not how Daesung thought he would start this. Before he lost his nerve Siwon needed to get it all out. 

 

"I'm so sorry for everything I said and what I did. I never wanted to break your heart it was the biggest mistake of my life. Management came to me and told me I had to end it before it got out, no matter how safe we were being. They told me I had to get away before it ruined everything we all worked so hard for. How our band mates would hate us for being the downfall to their success. I couldn't stand being the reason that all they worked for was taken away from me. I know it was a cowardly thing to do and I should of talked about what happened not only to them but to you as well. We could of made a decision together and taken the consequences together instead of me being a coward and ruining the best thing I ever had in my entire life. I never stopped loving you Daesung! I still love you and I know I have no right to you anymore but I hope that you're well and that things are going okay with you and I know that I can't expect for you to feel the same way as I do. But so much time has passed and I know that things have really calmed down for us both and I thought maybe that now we can give it one more shot? That you could forgive me and for me to explain everything I did and why. And to say I'm so sorry for breaking your heart, I broke my own that day as well and it's never truly healed. I'm so sorry Daesung, I love you." 

 

After his heartfelt plea Siwon was nothing more than a mess of tears and regret washing over him. The worse part was that Daesung hasn't said a single thing in his tirade. "Deasung, please say something, anything." 

 

After letting his breath slowly leave his body Daesung didn't know what to say. How long did he want and wish for this exact phone call to happen? How many days and nights did he stay by his phone hopping for a call and a reason to all this he was going through? Everything he not so secretly wished for for all these years was finally coming true, the love he wanted Siwon to confess to him was finally out there in the open and Daesung had no idea what to feel. 

 

"Siwon...why now? Why after all this time?" Daesung was close to losing it in the car ride to the airport. 

 

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you everything, I was so scared that you would hate me and that things would fall apart and everyone would blame me when I was told to end things. I'm sooo sorry I hurt you baby, the pain I felt was nothing compared to pain I know I put you through, I truly hated myself for saying those things to you and for breaking your heart. Nothing in this life has hurt me more than that. I'm so sorry, I love you." 

 

The tears were loud and noticeable now from the other end of the phone. "Oh baby I'm sorry please don't cry. I love you." 

 

"Siwon.. God damnit! It's too late! I'm sorry but you're just too late I accept your apology and at least now I know why you did what you did. But you're too late. I'm sorry Siwon I've moved on and honestly if I haven't.. the pain you caused was too much too deep in my heart. I can't open that up again, I will always love you Siwon honestly and truly, you're an amazing man and I just know that there is someone out there for you to show that love to and sweep them off their feet. But that person is not going to be me, not anymore. Please move on Hun you're an amazing person and that love you have inside you will be cherished by another sooner than you think. Know that I will always love you and you will always have a special place in my heart but it's time to move on, its time to heal and let it go. Please let it go Siwon it hurts, trust me I know, but afterward you will be happier. I forgive you for everything you've done, take that and make peace with us, with yourself, I love you and wish you all the best. Goodbye Siwon be well and love again." 

 

The dial tone that greeted SIwon at the end was the final nail in the coffin. 

 

"I was too late, I hurt the thing I loved the most and it left me. How fitting." 

 

_**Hello from the other side** _  
_**I must've called a thousand times to tell you** _  
_**I'm sorry, for everything that I've done** _  
_**But when I call you never seem to be home** _  
  
_**Hello from the outside** _  
_**At least I can say that I've tried to tell you** _  
_**I'm sorry, for breaking your heart** _

 

"I'm sorry..." 

**Author's Note:**

> credit to Adele's Hello


End file.
